The Ring

Well, I guess I can let the cat out of the bag….

In retrospect, I think this is what was causing the most hurt.

Regardless of the ups and downs I had with her.    My thoughts and my very being were hers..     No matter how frustrated or mad I got with her…. She was never once out of my mind.   

I told myself that if she could do those things to get her life in order, I would be so proud of her, that I would do what I had been thinking about for the past 6 months.   For reference, see my post titled “The One with Taking a Break”.

I went as far as going to Joseph’s to look at my mom’s ring.   Get a new appraisal, get the costs for something I wanted to engrave in the band along with a small portion beside the diamonds to replicate the design on the ring of Mordor.   (she is a huge LOTR fan).

The next step was to contact my brother to offer to pay him for half the ring.    Since the ring was mom’s.

While I could have shown it better or said it better (retrospect is 20/20 and cruel asshole), I would have proposed to her after she got those things done.   

Regardless of the other side of our lives, she was the one….

But as I look at this paperwork and the ring, I am reminded of how she told me she had been wanting to end things for awhile now.   I also think about how easy it was for her to throw our relationship away so easily.

How could I have been so blind


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